New Years Resolutions

So, it is that time of year when setting your resolutions has come around again. This year however, has been interesting for me because my partner and I have discussed the resolutions we should set as parents. This is where the argument/heated debate we've been having for the past few months reared its ugly head. Before I begin I wish to state that my hubby is a fantastic father who works extremly hard and who loves the bones of his kids but.....


I feel that my other half has a UFC style approach to teaching our eldest son how to 'defend' himself from other mixed martial arts competitors, I mean toddlers. I kid you not when I tell you that some of his words of wisdom include 'you do what you got to do son' teamed with 'hitting is wrong if you do it first, not if you're defending yourself'. When I tried to point out that our three year old may not be able to tell when he was using unnecessary force or when he should be defending himself, he replied that he doesn't want his son to be a 'victim' and it's important he learns to stick up for himself. I replied I didn't want our son to grow up not knowing right from wrong and feel that physical intimidation is an appropriate form of communication. I had visions of the future, handing my 16 year old son into the local police station after I'd recognised him looting a local footlocker on the 6 'o'clock news!


Now I may be being slightly melodramatic but it is very hard sometimes to balance the female and male views of parenting without one of you seriously bending your beliefs. Most of the male friends that I have consulted don't really see that encouraging him to stick up for himself is a problem. The ladies however, give sharp intakes of breath and scrunch up their faces as if confirming my son is on a downward spiral to immorality and wanton criminality.


I don't think that three year olds should be told that hitting is acceptable under any circumstances, my son has a very gentle nature but I have nonetheless caught him pinching one of his friends because he didn't like the way he had spoken to him. When asked why he had pinched his friend he replied 'He wasn't sharing and that's not nice.' This has happened on several occasions since his dad has had his 'talk' with him.


My conclusion is that we should encourage our son to communicate with his words, not his fists. I'm all for signing up to martial art classes when he's older, but because they encourage self control as well as self defence. However, my fundemental conclusion is that I am right and he is wrong!