I am really happy that I got to be a part of 'The Parent du Jour', a site that asks parents all around the world for their experiences of parenthood and how it has affected them.
Motherhood has completely changed me as a person, and sometimes I mourn the old me. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother and all, well most, of what it entails. Sometimes I miss the self confidence I feel was lost when I had my eldest child. Motherhood stripes you bear of everything you may previously have hidden behind, your job, your body and temporarily your social life. I was stuck with me twenty four seven, something that had never happened before. You are forced to examine who you really are in a way I don't think men ever do. Parts of me I liked and parts were slightly scary but I had no choice but to confront them. I learnt a lot about myself that I don't think I ever knew. I realised I didn't want the career I had, exercise is a must for me and I can't stay in my pyjamas past 9am or I start to feel a little crazy.
Although I don't think I suffered from depression I remember feeling lost and very emotionally exposed after the birth of my first child. Some people I had considered friends appeared in a new light as if motherhood was enabling me to see things with more clarity. The most important skill I have learnt is to live in the moment. It sounds so cliched but there are some things that you cannot control or change and that's fine. Babies and children should be enjoyed, so who cares about the kitchen floor being clean today, it doesn't matter. The second time around I've learnt to enjoy my baby more and not be so hard on myself, I'm lucky enough to be at home with him so I intend to enjoy it, because you don't get that time back and it goes so fast!
The best advice I could ever give to a new/ish Mum is to read as many experiences of other mothers as you can. You are not alone and when it feels impossible and lonely, there is probably someone feeling exactly the same way as you did who can help contextualise how you are feeling. Better yet, you could start your own blog or if you don't want to share, a diary. Writing it all down is very therapeutic.
Thank you to 'The Parent du Jour' for making me realise that I'm not doing such a bad job after all!
Check out my contribution on 'The Parent du Jour' below
http://theparentdujour.com/2012/01/makawa-makanda-it-strengthens-you-if-you-let-it/
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