My four year old son has been asking this question a lot recently and I am unsure how to answer. That may sound silly but I fear I may end up confusing him with the literal answer but at the same time I feel it is important to answer this question whilst he has an interest or worse still before he gets his answer from someone else, whos opinion I am unable to influence.
I am mixed race, black and white and my partner is white, both of our little boys look white and I often get looks of confusion as people try to process our connection. If we are out as a family then it is quite obvious, but when we are not I often get asked 'how long I've looked after' these little boys. I feel quite sad about this sometimes, that not everyone sees a physical connection between me and the two most important people in my life. I also feel sad that people feel the need to comment, which I don't think they would if my sons and I had the same skin colour.
So, back to the point of what to say to my son. I have decided to tell him he has beautiful skin instead of trying to describe its colour. That we all have different shades of beautiful skin and this makes the world a more interesting place to live in. Someone's skin isn't important but who they are and how they treat you is. Mummy and Daddy are different shades but they love each other very much and they are very proud that they created two beautiful, intellegent and kind boys.
I want my boys to grow up and not judge people by the way they look but by who they are and how they behave. I think this is sometimes difficult in a society which is obsessed with placing labels on everything and everyone. Thinking that I can raise my boys to not be overly judgemental of others may sound like an idealistic dream but it is still my dream. All children should feel happy and comfortable in their skin, no matter what its colour.
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